On December 11th last year, I had xrays and an appointment with my orthopaedic surgeon that changed my life and heart forever. This was after four days on almost complete bedrest, my pain was so bad. The hip we'd worked so hard to reconstruct and give me years of alleviated pain, was working its way out of its socket, becoming dysplastic--again. With four pins in it. After one 6+hour surgery on my birthday, another on my mom's birthday that summer. Last summer. It's now been over a year.
The medical record from yesterday last year reads so very crisp and clear and to the point.
Except I was feeling anything but.
"Re-do surgery is not recommended at this point. Recommend getting lab work. See what blood work shows, and then hip replacement for the right hip. Discussed risks and benefits of hip replacement surgery. May not drive for 6 to 8 weeks after hip replacement surgery. Adjust activity level. If hip is feeling ok, may do some exercises."
It has been a year. And I am still processing despite the painfree life I am humbled and grateful to say I am living and thriving in. To be honest I hardly recall last year's Christmas, my heart was aching so horribly at this turn of events.
This is a heavy "Ebenezer stone" of praise both raised up and laid down in surrender. Surrendering my heart and hopes and dreams anew because, if last year taught me anything--it's that the only hope we have is in Him. And that lesson of misplaced hope, then hopes majorly deferred and heart broken so bad I am still reeling and not completely okay with it all? Because I'm human, and honesty and authenticity is needed--and God can take it.
God gave me a story within His story for me, and I am shakily in awe and excited to share it with the world on Saturday. So that, just maybe, whoever reads it will be reminded of the Hope we have as an anchor, steadfast and secure, no matter how life may rip the rug out from under us.