Dear Younger Me

Where do I begin? If I could tell you everything that I have learned so far...well, it would take more than a blog post. But perhaps you would be a few steps ahead of some not so great memories running through my head. Those awkward moments trying to be yourself but letting fear of man and anxiety win out and wasting opportunities to make friends.
Should I give a speech to you about how to make the most out of your life?
To not waste so much time worrying and letting anxiety win again and again. Maybe if you had just gotten over these issues you wouldn't be so hesitant and gun-shy to get out and do things with people in real-time. Maybe you would have a boyfriend by now if you had just listened to those who encouraged you to get out of the house and meet people.
Perhaps bitterness wouldn't be a habit if you had just let things go, look for the best in those around you and just roll with life. But change is rough, and you hate not being able to control it all.
Guess what, you beloved daughter of God?
You can't control it all. You can't fake your way through small talk and family talk and even talking with God. Just stop trying to hold it all together, will you? 
God's got this. And He loves you unconditionally. In a bigger way than you ever will be able to grasp. It's not about how you perform or how you think you fail or disappoint when all you want to do is do things perfect and make the people around you happy. It is all about Jesus. 
He has redeemed you. Set you apart. Ever intercedes for you at the right hand of God our Father. In Christ you can really be free indeed. Free from your ridiculously high standards. Free from guilt and fear. He is the ultimate lover of your work-in-progress soul and not only has forgiven you, He loves you and is always right there. Not far away based on the good moments and the bad moments. 
You don't need to keep climbing your way to God. Just open your stubborn little heart to Him, bow and bask in the always already sufficient gift of grace. He goes before you and hems you in from all sides--you don't have to have it all figured out!
One step at a time, and remember to hold tight to your Heavenly Father's hand, taking on Jesus' yoke that is easy, laying down your heavy, heavy burden at His feet.
Meghan Gorecki
Meghan Gorecki

Words, history, and grace color my days here in The Burgh where I seek out the perfect coffee and red lipstick.