Jesus + ?

In short, I've struggled with this year ending when I think of two big things I don't yet have but have never prayed harder for in 2014.
The other night at church, we were wrapping up our sermon series on Jesus: The Word Became Flesh. A study of Him based on John 1:1-14. In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was God. And the Word was with God. He was with God in the beginning...
Our pastor wrapped up his message with Jesus' all-sufficiency. The truth of that has been in my head awhile, but those nine inches between brain and heart is a long road. "Jesus Himself is all sufficient. Not Jesus plus a spouse. Not Jesus plus a better marriage. Not Jesus plus a child."
The truth fell heavy with conviction.
My Jesus plus "fill in the blanks" were: Jesus plus a guy. Jesus plus a writing contract. While these are yet unfulfilled dreams--and we all have them--given by God, I believe, nothing is meant to supersede Jesus or be conditional in our happiness. If I just had a guy like so and so's boyfriend, I'd be "happy." If I only had a book deal like so and so...
While the truth of Jesus' all sufficiency fell heavy, the conviction fell away from my shoulders as I prayed, begging God for forgiveness. And realizing with a light heart, for the first time ever, that I will not only be just okay if I never ever have these two dreams fulfilled, I will be all right. 
I said that my "Jesus plus 'fill in the blanks" were. I'm not above being transparent in saying I do struggle. But by God's grace they are in the past. I have not given up those dreams, but I no longer feel the weight of them. It's a weight of hope now. Longing that will ebb and flow, but with always, always the hope and love of my Savior Who is more than enough. More than anything. The ultimate Lover of my soul.

I wanted to write out, here, to speak truth to my own heart and encourage you. Everyone has something they're waiting for in their lives. And sometimes it hurts with a deep, almost physical ache. But those things we're waiting on, God inspired dreams they may be, must be surrendered, let go at the foot of the Cross. I know I'll try to pick these things back up and struggle with surrendering them again. But they must not block out Jesus. The Prince of Peace--not anxiety or worry about the future. The knowledge of Jesus' all sufficiency is sinking down from my head to my heart, and as Peter writes below, there is grace and peace in abundance for us when we let go, let God, and hold tight to Jesus.

Grace and peace be yours in abundance through the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord.
His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises...
2 Peter 1:2-4
Meghan M. Gorecki
Meghan M. Gorecki

Words, history, and grace color my days here in The Burgh where I seek out the perfect coffee and red lipstick.