Bloom | A Grateful Heart

Spring is finally here; trees have their buds, crocuses and daffodils are springing up everywhere, but we haven't quite reached the blooming season. It's just beginning. 
And so it is with life.
We just celebrated the Resurrection of the Man who was fully God, fully man, yet did not sin. Who lived a perfect life on earth, only to die because of His love for us. Even though we don't deserve it. Death, where is your sting, now that Christ has risen?
The power of Jesus' Resurrection is not to be missed in the day to day. He died, so we might live, and live life to the fullest.

I stand a new creation, baptized in blood and fire

No fear of condemnation by faith I'm justified

I will rise, I will rise

As Christ was raised to life, now in Him, now in Him

I live

Years ago, I would've taken pride in the fact that I was waiting. For God and Him alone to unfold my love story. Keeping myself pure until marriage. Through out high school I think I just figured I'd be a great stay at home daughter, have a small home business or something, and soon after graduation poof! My guy would appear. 
Now there's nothing wrong with any of that, but for pride. I thought I was oh so holy and deserving for planning on just waiting for Mr. Right, not dating or having a boyfriend until God brought me my future husband. Now I know that this pride was based in immaturity, fear of letting go and letting God, and a stagnant, safe faith that clung more to seemingly proven modes of garnering a husband than God's sovereign will.
Those years ago I thought, much like Rapunzel in Tangled, When will my life begin? When God brings me my husband, and when I get married.
Today I am so so so grateful for only the Lord's refining work in my heart since I started working (*gasp*) outside the home at a job that I love. A job that God provides through--monetarily and with plenty of time to pursue my dream job of writer.
I am far from perfect, and to be honest it's been a real struggle to bloom where planted. Genuinely. I said the right things and forced myself to get involved, stay involved with the young adult group at church, served in a few different areas...but it wasn't until recently that God showed me the deep extent of my pride, and fear. And it was through other Godly people--dare I say new friends--and a fun time of bowling till 1am that I realized it.
I was not blooming where planted. I was begrudgingly doing the next thing, having a negative, assumptive nature and did not allow myself to open up to the possibility of friends here. I had enough amazing heart-friends! Granted, the majority of them don't live locally...
But these people I see once or twice a week are good people. They make me laugh, and if I keep trying and genuinely tamping down my fears and just be me--I'll have fun and make friends. Simple stuff, this revelation of mine, but it's God's illuminating work recently.
So. To bloom. Flourish. 
I'm not waiting anymore. I'm done waiting inactive, complaining and worrying and wondering. I want to be a strong woman rooted in God, flourishing in the life and with the people He's gifted me with, solely because I love Him. I so don't deserve His grace unending that's dusted me off, refined my heart and given me such a great life now.
These dreams in my heart that yawn empty? They're there. They always will be. But God will either fulfill them in His timing or take them away. And I'm fine with that, because that's down the road. It's not where I am now.
Trying to bloom and stand tall as me. Hopeless romantic, introvert, vintage-soul, history buff, family gal, Marvel fangirl, talks with her hands and sometimes too loud, me.
Grateful Heart w/ Ember Grey

Meghan M. Gorecki
Meghan M. Gorecki

Words, history, and grace color my days here in The Burgh where I seek out the perfect coffee and red lipstick.