August 26, 2015

Humble Pie | Recovering Update

The phone clicks off and Mum helps me out of the bathroom as I lean on my walker.
"That was hard for you, wasn't it Mum?"
"Yes! I feel like I should be bringing other people a meal. Not needing them myself."

The generosity and kindness of many friends and now our church family's meal ministry have meant the world to us. A dinner every so often is such a gift, no one knows how much. My amazing Mum is the most self-sacrificial, hard-working, strong and selfless to a fault woman I know. She has been my rock through all of this. But this is the woman whose one struggle may be to ask for help or assistance because she'd rather be the one giving and giving and pouring herself out for others. As she does day in and day out.

I've had my own dish of humble pie to eat these past few weeks with the loss of independence, and my awesome Mum's had hers of accepting meals and saying they'd help. She's so much stronger than me, but we both are stubborn as they come, so it's been an adjustment. This accepting God's strength through our literal weaknesses and His grace through helping hands and caring hearts.

There were two weeks post op before my infection hit and I went back into the hospital for five days, had another operation resulting in the worst pain yet and came home with two antibiotics, six times a day, for the next six weeks. To be administered intravenously thru my PICC line. 12 and 6 are my antibiotic times and that means midnight and 6am. I've slept thru most of those two infusions, and it's Mum who gets up faithfully to sanitize, flush the lines and hook me up to my antibiotics. 

Mum's the one to do things for me day in and day out that I once took for granted. It's humbling for me still, despite how things are getting easier for me. God's been so good to renew and pour grace over us every day, and we've had such amazing heart to hearts, Mum and I that we wouldn't have had if I had never had my surgery. 

But this new normal thing has been tough. On everybody. Especially Mum, the heart of our home, and Sara who has had a lot more responsibility fall to her. God is good to provide and give grace upon grace, but some days are still hard adjusting. If you think of it--pray for my amazing family through this too.