February 8, 2016

Because HE lives, I can face tomorrow

Tomorrow I get a new hip.
To be perfectly honest I never have been able to picture this day. Nor, to be frank, did I ever pray for it to come quicker than expected--some time in my 30's or 40's is what we assumed, per the doctors once upon a time ago.
Now though everything has changed, the last two months have been upside down and December was a dark month for me. A dark month with moments of light I simply had to allow into my hurting heart. I am still processing, I confess. But when I quiet my head, merely have my heart beating and not writhing in worry--I have peace. That is the peace that passes all understanding if I simply shut up long enough to listen for it and tap into it. It is a facet of the Living God, the Great Physician--the One who is always there, near, even when I turn a cold, shuttered shoulder. I am a work in progress human--a sinful one. One who after years and years and trials and chronic pain and disappointments still struggles to trust the Lord in full. Even after writing a book entitled God's Will I still wonder why He allows what He does into my life. My family's life. Just being real.
I must choose HIM. His joy that abides deep. His peace always near. His love pursuing me at my most rebellious moments. I must choose to preach truth to myself even as tears flow down my face. Even when I'm quiet, tight-lipped--fighting against fear threatening to overwhelm--He is near and I must turn my heart around to fall into His Everlasting Arms.

Tomorrow I get a new hip. Hopefully only a one night hospital stay before I am home again tucked in my bed healing up. Again. I get a new scar tomorrow, and four screws removed. Here's hoping I do not get an infection and I have a nice and routine total hip replacement. And even if not--God is still good. With every broken bone--just like the ones I'll have broken/removed tomorrow--I live. Because HE lives I can face tomorrow. And I pray the same for you, whomever may be reading this, that you embrace and hold to the most perfect hope found in Jesus Christ.