April 25, 2016

The Last Five Years

Weird time of year to be reflecting on the past--but thanks to Facebook memories, here I am. My last year of high school I reeeeallly struggled with knowing what to do next. I resisted independence and necessary "adulting" at every turn but knew, just knew, I had to find work. Something part time due to my hip pain--and lo and behold not three months after the photo below was taken, God dropped my job in my lap. An amazing job that I will forever be grateful for despite its dramas and stress and imperfections.
<< June 2011, High School Graduation >>
My lovely conehead...and baby face...and loooooong hair in its natural color
Life post-high school had me hitting the ground running...and that whole first year or more was somewhat of a trainwreck as I struggled to adjust to a brand new job, coworkers, driving, not being at home as much as I wanted, getting plugged into our then-new church and figuring out my niche therein. It was a lot and there were a lot of tears. But thanks be to God He carried me through, set me to thriving and loving the opportunities I had with such an amazing job, wonderful new friends I made via blogging that I got to travel to and visit at least once a year.

 << April, 2013: Sent my first query letter! >>

Another one, thanks to FB memories. An incredibly humbling one at that--three years ago I sent my first query letter for God's Will. SO sure and set on wanting it traditionally published. Youthful arrogance, anybody? Lo and behold, after rejections and no one "biting" for this book, I uncurled my fists, let go of my expectations and finally, finally opened my heart to self-publishing. See next milestone below:

<< May 2014, God's Will >>
My first proof of the novel of my heart
Almost two full years ago after much prayer, relinquishing of my own plans, I self-published the novel of my heart that took seven years in full to come to fruition. The writing and self-publishing taught me so much about myself--but chiefly, the Lord. Wow, what a ride. One that, despite my mistakes, I would not trade for the world. I'll be sharing more about God's Will nearer its second birthday in mid-May.

 << April 2016 >>
Finally mastered the art of selfies.
And now here we are. If you would've told baby-faced, long-haired almost eighteen-year-old Meghan five years ago that she would be jobless--but putting down roots and gaining experience in the career field of her heart--still single and not mingling--but more at peace (see: not fighting!) now with her relationship status than ever before--and halfway to becoming a bionic woman? Oh, and don't forget to tell young Meghan how she traveled somewhere once or twice a year for the last five years, meeting new friends, falling in love with new cities and making so many memories. And also that the majority of your friends are now married. Oy.
If you would've told me all this at the end of high school? I would have either laughed outright or started to cry at the overwhelming confusion and fear of the future.
These last five years are all to God's glory. I haven't always dealt or reacted well during the down times, the crises and my faiths been tested this last year as both good and bad have come up over the horizon of my life.
But there has been incredible good. So many opportunities and friendships and provision dropped in my lap by my God that holds me still. The only things I would change about these last five years?
My heart. My stubborn, too-self-sufficient wavering faith soul that fought too long and hard before only beginning to learn surrender.
But just like everything else that's happened the last five years? God had a purpose and a lot of work to do in me, in spite of me.
Where were you five years ago? What's changed?