Life & Hips & Perspective, Oh My

Until I'm the bionic woman.
This time next week my left hip will be replaced.
Not gonna lie. Currently rather stress-paralyzed about it (as evidenced above) not to mention a ton of other crap stuff that's been going on.
A lot of good, a good deal of hard.
It's been a long almost-year.
But after next Tuesday, please God!, I won't have to have another surgery for years. This very well may be my last major-major surgery for quite some time.
And I am SO ready.
I don't know why, but the last thing on my mind is that for the first time in twelve years I'll soon be pain free. Soon as in 2-3 months from now.
I still can't wrap my mind around it.
**
I got to hold one-month-old twins today. Got my baby fix for sure.
They were darling--such peanuts.
Their amazing mama took one from me so I could stand and help her get the car seats into the car. I couldn't stand up from the couch holding the 9lb baby because I needed both hands/arms to brace myself to stand up from the couch.
And it hit me.
My as-yet-unfulfilled dream(s) of being a (wife and) mother will one day, all in God's perfect albeit sometimes frustrating timing, be painfree. I won't need to worry about hurting myself or the pain I'd be in getting up and down off the floor with children or (for a while at least) have to carefully measure out my energy and take into account my pain level to take care of my future home. Because this chronic pain will be a recent memory.
(source)
All of that is super far out I know and there are nearer huge differences in my life I'll be seeing soon (again--can't wrap my head around them yet). But my shaky faith and stubborn doubts were blown over when I realized all this.
All God.
All. HIM.
Every step of this. From diagnosis of severe bilateral hip dysplasia at age eleven to now--soon to be four major surgeries in a calendar year. All God. He who has brought me safe thus far, by grace will lead me home. Yes, fulfilling dreams as He alone unfolds my future--but ever nearer to Him. 
And that's it. No book contract, no guy, new hips or not--whatever the rest of my life holds I must continually fight to rest in Him. To uncurl my fists, practice what I "preach", and let go and let Him.
Because He is good. And His love runs deeper than the ocean I miss so much. All-encompassing over every dream, every heartache, and especially every single little word I write.
Meghan Gorecki
Meghan Gorecki

Words, history, and grace color my days here in The Burgh where I seek out the perfect coffee and red lipstick.

4 comments:

  1. Meghan, your determination by God's grace to believe in dark times is such an encouragement! You will be in my prayers during this surgery and the recovery time. Much love in Christ to you! <3

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  2. :) I'm so happy for you!! I'm praying for you now...

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  3. love you my friend <3 Praying for perfect peace and easy surgery/recovery

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  4. Amen, He is good! Beautiful, Meg! Praying you through this. You are an incredible woman and I am so blessed to call you friend. Prayers and blessings!

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