On This Day Five Years Ago...

Thank you, Facebook memories, for reminding me that on this day five years ago, I finished a draft of God's Will. What I thought was its last. It wasn't. It was The Rewrite Draft...that still needed enormous work before I took almost two years to shop it around to agencies before God lovingly nudged my heart open to a new dream: self publishing.
And I am so glad I did.
Oh, but did eighteen year-old Meghan have so much to learn...

It is Finished

Written April 2, 2012:
Or, in my case--as much as I wanted to plan my novel--the novel that, in truth, taught me how to write--it had a way of surprising me with unexpected things that made me happier than I had ever hoped. 
And that is what I call the finally--once and for all--f.i.n.i.s.h.e.d:
God's Will.
Two years and one month after I wrote this post...

What I wrote here on this public writing space about this novel I seemed to be forever overhauling, only scratched the surface--the tip of the iceberg--as to how excruciatingly, beautifully, painful this novel was to write.

About three years ago, I wrote The End the first time, at the end of what is now the first draft of God's Will. I wasn't quite sixteen, and it had been not-quite a three year project from outlining to finish. I put it away, only to dust it off again and realize with fresh eyes the continuity issues and historical inaccuracies the novel was ridden with. I set out only to give it a good edit...then that snowballed into fixing the errors after I deliberately did some fact-checking.
And then all that snowballed into what I mainly refer to as an overhaul--which, it turns out, was really a total rewrite of the first draft I finished March 21, 2009 at 12:21 a.m.

This novel, what I truly consider to be my first real novel, was a refining tool of God's in my life in countless ways. I thought just because I thought of it--which wasn't true: God inspired it--that I had control over it and how the individual stories of all six main characters would unfold. 
{*Note to self: NEVER ever again write a story switching between six different points of view*}

2017 Meghan: That still stands. Okay, carry on.

I'm not saying it'll change the world, I'm not even saying it'll make a huge impact on all who read it--if anyone. But the biggest thing I could ever dream about for this novel is that God has used it not only in my life and walk with Him, but I know of a few special, dear people that have read it, and were blessed.

My novel is but a vessel--where it may go, I have no idea. If it is never published and on the shelves of bookstores across the country, I've come to being completely at peace with that! When I sat back after writing the last words, "The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. Blessed be the name of the Lord" to close my novel, my hands were shaking.

2017 Meghan: Whoops. Changed the ending words.

Four years after writing this post. A re-release/2nd book birthday
I thought I would burst into tears right there in Barnes and Noble where I had spent the last four and a half hours staring at my computer. I had such an assurance that this was it--it was finished--that I was utterly overcome with emotion.
A bittersweet weight was lifted when I typed the words, The End, on this second draft. It was not a goodbye, but a mere "see you soon." I will always come back to this as my most treasured story--the one that will ever be the closest to my heart.
If I could see where I am now, back when I first started God's Will, I would never believe it.
Just goes to show me how limited my vision is, and how beautiful God's will is for my life.

It's good to be getting back to the heart of God's calling on my life: writing.
So I'd figure I'd celebrate this surprise anniversary of sorts by popping back in on my sorely-missed blog, welcome ya'll in and offer you some virtual tea or coffee or lemonade, and an uplifting story that's only a dollar. Especially after having you read the adverb-filled emotional rambling of an eighteen year old.

Before you go, be sure to subscribe to my newsletter that'll go out tomorrow, Monday April 3rd, to find out when my next release is coming out.

Words, history, and grace color my days here in The Burgh where I seek out the perfect coffee and red lipstick.

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