Don't Judge a Book By It's Cover { Or a Guy }

I always thought I had a type. Basically Captain America. Clean shaven, blond-ish to some degree, and tall. Period, the end. Now I'm not dissing my favorite Chris here, but who I find attractive now (both in general and actually meaningfully) has greatly changed. But there needs to be some physical, visible draw to another person, I've learned. Much like a book cover is the first thing to draw us to actually read the book.
In our world of digital dating, it's easy to scroll through profiles and photos and then find them on social media (oh come on we've all done it) to get a read on their personality and potential things in common. And yes, the inevitable "Could I be attracted to you?" If my answer is a drawn out "Maybe?" then I give it a shot and hope/ask to meet in person for coffee. Because I feel like the majority of the male sex is somewhat inferior to women in taking good photos of themselves. (We're all thinking it)

Beyond looks, hairlines, waistlines or height, what I look for first is the heart. And how it is revealed when they talk about something they're passionate about, or a family member they love, or something they majorly nerd out about. This comes out in what ends up attracting me the most/more to someone: smile and eyes. In that order. If a smile's infectious to me? That equals attraction.

Whenever there is past disappointments or hurt, you're cautious. Trust me I get it. But every date I've gone on? I don't regret it entirely. Because each date with a real live guy lends a glimpse into who he is beyond the profile, or beyond whoever set you up's description. It's quite similar to books, really. Think about it. We all have a book or two whose cover wasn't exactly the greatest but once you cracked the spine and started reading—even when it took a while to get invested in the story—you fell in love with it. Because you opened yourself up to have assumptions proven wrong. To being surprised. Simply from taking a leap of faith, keeping an open mind—and not judging the book by its cover.
So should it be in dating. You never know who you'll be surprised to be attracted to if you don't give a guy a chance.


Words, history, and grace color my days here in The Burgh where I seek out the perfect coffee and red lipstick.

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