Owning Your Heart

Can I tell y'all a story?
It was September-ish, new lease on life, my favorite season was coming up—I was so ready to get on with my life after a longer than expected season of healing. While struggling to literally find my footing again—ever been there?—I met this guy. He was cuter than his profile photo, a coffee snob like me, total gentleman and insanely easy to talk to. It felt instantly like we'd grown up together. So easy to talk to and "be myself" with (or so I thought) that I began to get my hopes up way too high / fall too hard.
And so, when he kindly but decisively said he just wasn't that into me, it majorly hurt.

A huge problem in this whole Dating/Waiting game is forgetting that who you are—warts and all—is enough.
Boom. Hang tight, friends. I'm going to tell it like it is here.
Now, having that dream of a Special Someone is valid and important. But trying to force a relationship to happen simply because you're dying for the next part of your life to begin is folly. And it majorly discounts our value in God's eyes—and His role in yours.
Forgive those truth bombs dropped so early, but I promise I speak from an evolving experience. There is a balance between being open and available since, you know, The Guy won't knock on your door with a bouquet and say, "I'm here," and not being desperate and settling on the first guy who'd give you a second date.
I remember saying after it was all over with this guy (most dizzying two weeks of my life, by the way), that "It was just him. It wasn't Could This Be A Boyfriend Finally? It was just him." 
As it should be? Not about The Relationship Status, but about The Guy, right?
Not quite.
Part of why it couldn't work with me and this guy was because I had not regained my footing into my identity. A brand new one, I might add. So when he came along all Jesus-loving and taking the initiative I just let my hopes get caught up in all the What This Could Be, Finally.
Instead of slowing down and asking myself who I was, unapologetically, and what I wanted. Unapologetically.
Placing a huge emphasis on honesty and authenticity in the present day is because, while I always have made that a Non-Negotioable for a guy—but only recently, a challenge to myself.
And to you, dear reader.
Dating is nervewracking. Never knowing just how much to reveal and when and constantly worrying about what they're going to think. It's normal First-Few-Dates awkwardness is all.
But above all—to thine own self be true.
Go with your gut. Two things that sound abstract and cliche, I know, forgive me?
But we must be comfortable being simply ourselves, even in the quiet times, letting your dear heart catch up to life. Comfortable, content, and above all kind—to ourselves—before we can find that elusive settledness and comfort in a Special Someone.
It seems like we have all the time in the world before that Big Next Chapter unfolds. But however long staying single as a Pringle lasts? Soak it up and dig deeper into Who God is, and Whose YOU are. Because the surety that colors such a confidence is a most beautiful peace that you could ever experience.
 This is an installment of our series, Love Life & Literature: Romance in Real Life. In this series, we (myself and Rachael) will be delving into the ups, downs, frustrations, butterflies, and everything in between as career women who love romance, but are still searching in a world that isn’t all Mr. Darcy’s and Prince Charming’s.

Rachael and I take turns every Friday, so keep an eye out for her next installment next Friday. And in the meantime you can read her most recent post here.

Words, history, and grace color my days here in The Burgh where I seek out the perfect coffee and red lipstick.

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